SportsJournalists.com

Just visited our local Wal-Mart and the name of one of the checkers is Phyllistine.

I'd love to know what the rejected options were.

Palestine
Palpatine
Palpable

Ashley spelled Ashole.

Anfernee.

There was a girl in my middle school named Smokey Dawn Hickey.

I've got a telegram here for a Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson.

Dick Trickle

My buddy's mom is an elementary school guidance counselor and had a kid a couple of years ago whose first and middle names were Father Universal.

Went to highschool with a kid named Dick Wilcox (and I don`t believe Dick was short for Richard). Stuck with an unfortunate family name. I actually worked for his Grandpa also named Dick Wilcox for a summer on their farm. They raised wild boars. Very tasty, but mean sonsofbitches.

My all time favourite, though, is former WADA head -- Dick Pound. That`s a name to brag about.

There was a professor at my school named Richard Handler.

Dick Cummings on the floor below mine.

Went to HS with a guy named Jim Locker. And that was his given name, not James.

Barack Hussein

(I had to)

Awesome. Did he smell like ass/sock sweat?

In college I knew of an accounting professor whose name on the registration pamphlet was listed as Major Swindle.

Was watching an episode of The Price is Right many years ago. Dude with the last name Kill gets down to contestant's row and is wearing a college sweatshirt. Bob Barker asks him what he's studying, and he says he's going to be a doctor -- Dr. Kill. Left Bob speechless.

A cafeteria worker at the ballpark is named Champale. I have to stifle a laugh every time I see her name tag.

Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

I went to HS with a guy named Mike Hunt.

I once had a sourpuss of a college English teacher named Sharon Buzzard.

I heard him paged at a stadium once!

He was also paged in Porky's

He's also a columnist for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Lady from my mom's hometown; Ima Haug.

George W. Bush

Copy desker at my former paper was Jack Schicht. What? Never heard of him? Well, then you don't know...

Now, I'm sure parents named him John, and he chose Jack, but... still.

My wife, who's a nurse, used to work with a surgeon named Dr. Scarr.

There's a high school teacher Richard Small. I'm willing to bet the house the students that don't like him call him Dick.

Stopped at a Tim Hortons after a road game a few months back and the girl pouring the coffee was named Soda Pop. Showed us her birth certificate to prove it.

My sister still cannot believe this guy's name is a homonym with simian.

(http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/peter_king/04/23/drafts.five.things.1/p1_simeon-getty.jpg)

Local real estate attorney who handled the closing on our first home in town is Richard Dick.

Honestly.

Um, there's a high school in Chicago named Simeon. It's not that uncommon a name.

There is a high school in Western Pennsylvania called Western Beaver with a mascot of the Golden Beaver.

There are 1000s of potential names and mascots. Many times they are better than the one you already have.

Well, it's a cool "Outsiders" reference. Interesting that she's carries her birth certificate around.

Dick Armey ...

D'Brickashaw

Oh, and remember the basketball-playing brothers Scientific and Majestic Mapp?

I used to run a one-hour photo place in the mall, and at the yogurt shop around the corner, the assistant manager was Ginger Snapp. Said she loved her name and was going to keep it when she got married.

But it will be difficult to top this:

http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440 (http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440)

The youngest Mapp brother, Shallah, was a summer intern at my old shop.

Did you go to UVa?

What about the brother of Richmond's favorite Olympian, Queen Harrison?  His name is God Goldin Zig Zag Zig Allah (Harrison, presumably).  I love that the parents went back for the second "Zig".

Had a colleague whose name was Kelly Price. Married John Kelly and changed her name to Kelly Kelly.

After the first time you didn't think anything of it.

Nyquell Terry. She was the woman who NFL lineman Chris Terry used to beat.

[Mr. Duvall is introducing Cady to the class]
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

A d_b on the same thread.  Impressive.

   Used to be a volleyball player at U. Hawaii named Allen Allen. I read a gamer in the paper about one match in which the writer actually wrote: "The Warriors were led by Allen Allen (his parents stuttered), who had 20 kills."

http://floridastate.rivals.com/viewprospect.asp?pr_key=62642 (http://floridastate.rivals.com/viewprospect.asp?pr_key=62642)

I went to college with a guy named John Dick.  I found out a few years later that his middle name was Pierce.  John Pierce Dick.  I am not making that up.

Can she believe it's a homophone?

Since that's, you know, what it is. Not a homonym.

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/index.php/topic,63265.msg2147802.html#msg2147802

Great minds ;)

It's "As-WEEP-ay."

My mom works with a lady named Regina Kuntz

We got a name for a girl at work the other day named Destanee Fine.
Did her parents plan her career in the adult entertainment industry or what?

I was in the Navy with a guy named Richard Richard Jr.. Not Richard RichardS, but Richard Richard. I guess with the Jr. part, his dad said "Guess what, I'm stuck with it, so are you."

Once knew of a H.S. principal named Richard Hoare.

Wife's name? Ima.

There was a softball coach at Southern Miss a couple years back named Gay McNutt.

I've run across a few, though I think the first two are good instead of bad.

Magnus Bitsch - foreign exchange student who as an all-district football player. Quite possibly the greatest football name I've ever heard, just a bit better than Bronko Nagurski.

Precious Hands - All-state guard in girls basketball.

Rosie Arreola - ran across this one while taking a picture at the local middle school (easy there, mind in the gutter) several years ago. After taking photos of the girl and others in her group working on a project, I asked them each their names. When she told me her name, I turned to the teacher and before I could even say a word, the teacher said, "Yes, that's her name."

Linda Long Cox - Area lady with the last name of Long who married a guy named Cox. Insisted on keeping both names.

Dr. Dick Tapper - This is the professional name of a friend's urologist.

Rev. Larry Knigga - The 'K' is pronounced and the last name has three syllables -- ka-NIG-a, as in "My Knigga!" Oh, yeah, he's white.

Tara Dickensheets -- Played women's basketball at Capital University a few years back.

Any baby named Neveah -- That's Heaven spelled backward.

I feel like I just read a letter in Penthouse.

Teacher in my high school was named Harry Putz.

Girl in my graduating class was named Sara Uren.

Can I get some love for former IOC vice prez Dick Pound?

No. In my experience with him, he was a dick.

At my snooty rich-kid grade school there was a girl named Ladye Jane Something (forget the last name). Some teachers practically sneered when calling roll.

He already got some love on the first page of the thread.

Along the same lines, I've always got a chuckle out of Dick Pole. If I were ever in position to assemble a baseball coaching staff, he and Rusty Kuntz would be my first two selections.

President-Elect Barack Obama.
















Too soon?
;D

Dixie Hack

Former Charlotte women's hoops player Ivana Mandic - unfortunately, can't find her profile online.  But that search led me to this:

http://www.shupirates.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=52797&SPID=5501&DB_OEM_ID=12600&ATCLID=655014&Q_SEASON=2006

Was hanging out with some friends after the wife becamse pregnant, and my wife (well, girlfriend at that point) was talking to the father about names.  He was talking about Portugese names  (he runs a restaurant and employs a lot of Brazilians) and my wife said, "You know what Portugese name I've always thought was beautiful?  Aurelia."  He says, "What, like the part around a girl's nipple?"

Later in the conversation, he joked that if the baby was a girl, he was going to drown it in the bathtub.  It was, and oddly enough, he hasn't.  (They went with Sophie as her name.)

Hugh Munn was the lead investigator in the Sarah Smith case many years ago.

I know a guy who played minor league baseball against a guy named Dick Whistle.

We ran local kids' birthdays in our old paper, and there was a girl whose name was pronounced "Cheyenne." Not so bad, but it was spelled "Shy-Anne."

DeCody Fagg
Craphonso Thorpe

Non-FSU division: Dick Such, Dick Pole, Rusty Kuntz, Dicky Nutt, Dick Nutter, Dick Pound, Jim Bob Cooter

Ha, I forgot about Craphonso ... that one cracked me up.

Rusty Kuntz anyone?

Misty Himen is another classic.

Former Providence star God Shamgod.

Kid on a local football team is Harrison Johnson. Hadn't heard of him until he made a big play and one of the team stat guys says "Harry Johnson" and laughs.

My aunt is a teacher and a coworker had a student named Shithead. Apparently it was pronounced She-thayed. The teacher made a point of figuring out how to pronounce it before the first day of school. "When I call you name, say 'here'. Shithead...."

   Don't forget Misty's brother, Buster Hymen.

I know a guy who's last name is Wiener. His mom's maiden name is Balls.

At least we know what the kid'll get on his or her 18th birthday: A new name and a hand gun.

Former University of Miami receiver J.C. Penney.

My wife ran a kids' club for a former employer. One of the tykes who was a member was named Hellion.

There was a kid in the school system a family member works for named Angel Dookey.

http://tarheelblue.cstv.com/sports/m-wrestl/mtt/wang_long00.html

Met a woman who named her twins after her favorite foods... Their names were pronounced LaMongelo and Arangelo Eggleston.
Their names were: LemonJello and OrangeJello Eggleston

Former Oklahoma football player Kokane Mothershead. Had a sister named Marijuana.

Jim Hogg's daughter, Ima Hogg, is a good one.

Covered a girl in high school whose name was Jessica Faggot. I'm sure she got married ASAP.

L.J. and O.J. That's an easy fix. It's a good thing no one's besmirched them yet.

Volleyball coach in Newfoundland: Harry Butt

When I was in high school, we had a swimming relay team with Dave Bush, Tim Ferry and Fahad Butt. An occasional fourth member was a kid with the last name Peins.
Had they been any good, they'd have been a copy editor's nightmare.

I knew a Chasity Belt

Of course, in the Bad Names Hall of Fame: Wonderful Monds III

Had a teacher friend tell me about one of her students whose name came from a newspaper ad spotted by the Mom: Formica Dinette. Another one was named Ether. The Mom told her she saw it on a bottle in the delivery room and thought it sounded nice.

Oh yeah, another from the same teacher. Said she had a kid named Demonic. It was pronounced "DUH-monic".

This guy approves:

(http://i18.tinypic.com/2l904ew.jpg)

What are you upset about? I gotta sleep under a guy named after duck's dong!

Former football player on a small college we cover:

Rashid Rashid.

Really? Wow.

Local football coach:

B.J. Queen

Liz Phair's taken up coaching?

If only there was a B.J. King. ...

Oh, my stars. There is.

Former Braves "prospect" Bean Stringfellow. A name straight out of Dickens.

Saw this one in our latest Lullabye Corner in the part for the grandparents: Dick Custard.

Chris Smelley

Seven.

My buddy's dad's name is Richard Kless. They call him Dick.

I know a guy named Ben Harder.

Best name in the NFL: Flozell Adams.

I normally don't post, but this is too good. One of my cousins is a teacher and she has a child named Le-a.
How is that pronounced, you ask? LEE-a? LEI-a?
Nope. Ledasha. As in Le-dash-a. Le-a.
Quote from the mom after someone mispronounced the child's name: "The dash ain't silent!"

Shithead

This was in one of our paper's birth announcements one day. We checked on it and it's the way the parents want it.

It's a female name pronounced Shi-THEED.

Sarah Palin!

Jello042

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read.

   30 or so years ago, Oregon's football coach was Dick Enright at the same time Oregon's basketball coach was Dick Harter.
   Somebody wrote on the bathroom wall: If you can't get your Dick Harter, you can't get your Dick Enright.

I do some substitute teaching, so I come across a lot of, um, odd names. This post reminded me of a recent one -- KLa. Pronounced "Kayla."

My supervisor's name is Peter C. Bonin.

My dad went to high school with a dude named Sterling Weiner. Everybody called him Chrome Cock.

Went to school with a Storme Morning.

Same high school football team, but I don't think they were teammates:

Tecumseh Mayes
Monaleisia (pronounced Mona Lis-ee-a) Carter

Covered a juco baseball player 20 years ago named Buck Bohner - the 'h' was silent.