What do you bring to the SJ.com table?

[Clever username]

I've been thinking about starting this for a while, dating back to people complaining that the SJ.com March Madness was strictly based on post numbers and not quality. And now with everything that's happened recently, I feel it's a good time.

So the question is: What do you think you contribute to this message board?

I'll go first. I don't think I contribute much, other than a lot of one-liners, some funny to all, some only funny to me.

I avoid the political discussions because I don't want to get all riled up, and I tend to avoid the sports board because I actually come here to get away from sports. I also avoid the sports board because most of the threads are 6-7 pages long by the time I see them at night and have no desire to wade through all of it.

Your turn.

[Chi City 81]

Nothing. I am, after all, SJ.com's No. 1 thread ruiner, according to 21.

[Angola!]

I bring nothing, though I have been told I provided the lowest point in board history with a certain story during the Super Bowl.

[buckweaver]

I bring a small penis and some baseball, according to Jones.

[spup1122]

You shared that story during the super bowl? Damn, I didn't realize it was that long ago.

As for me, I bring me to the board, from what I'm told. In fact, I'm told I only bring me to the board.

[The Big Ragu]

I bring a small penis and some baseball, according to Jones.

Has Jones seen your penis?

[Cadet]

I bring catch phrases such as "fuck trophies" and "butterflied penis".

[HejiraHenry]

I bring the noise.

[wickedwritah]

I bring a small penis and some baseball, according to Jones.

Has Jones seen your penis?

See, Buck, Jones has seen Ragu's penis. And smelled it. And groped it. And ... well, I can't explain all the debauchery on here. Let's just say that it was rough.

[wickedwritah]

I bring catch phrases such as "fuck trophies" and "butterflied penis".

The woman of my dreams.

[Piotr Rasputin]

I bring an affection for bunnies, according to sportschick.

[buckweaver]

I bring a small penis and some baseball, according to Jones.

Has Jones seen your penis?

I've never seen his, if that helps.

[Clever username]

I bring a small penis and some baseball, according to Jones.

Has Jones seen your penis?

I've never seen his, if that helps.

Not big into reciprocation?

[The Big Ragu]

I bring a small penis and some baseball, according to Jones.

Has Jones seen your penis?

See, Buck, Jones has seen Ragu's penis. And smelled it. And groped it. And ... well, I can't explain all the debauchery on here. Let's just say that it was rough.

Not true. But he does keep it in a jar next to his bed.

[Cadet]

I bring catch phrases such as "fuck trophies" and "butterflied penis".

The woman of my dreams.

You dream about butterflied penis?

My contribution today was the definition of fistula, so I guess I'm on a roll...

[wickedwritah]

You dream about butterflied penis?

No, just women who have wonderful imaginations.

My contribution today was the definition of fistula, so I guess I'm on a roll...

Definitely. More women like you need to exist.

[Clever username]

Definitely. More women like you need to exist.

If by that you mean women who are 5-10, then yes, yes they do.

[buckweaver]

You dream about butterflied penis?

No, just women who have wonderful imaginations.

You do realize that butterflied penis was, painfully, not a figment of her imagination?

[wickedwritah]

If by that you mean women who are 5-10, then yes, yes they do.

Wow, Cadet's 5-10? That definitely is SJ.com Woman of the Month-worthy.

[Clever username]

If by that you mean women who are 5-10, then yes, yes they do.

Wow, Cadet's 5-10? That definitely is SJ.com Woman of the Month-worthy.

So would that be a rotating award between the six regular female posters?

[Piotr Rasputin]

If by that you mean women who are 5-10, then yes, yes they do.

Wow, Cadet's 5-10? That definitely is SJ.com Woman of the Month-worthy.

What, that's not her fantasy football record?

[JackyJackBN]

I bring obscure references of all sorts and a tolerance for stupidity that is almost boundless.  Almost.

[Ace]

Can I just bring the condiments to the table? I'm not much of a cook and I didn't have time to shop.

I try to be funny. I (shamefully) enjoy bantering with trolls a little. And I try to provide serious advice on appropriate threads.

If I can get someone to spew on their screen, my day is complete.

(Oh, and a sad desparation to work at a certain large paper in Cleveland)

[wickedwritah]

I bring nothing to the table. I'm a retard. Ma-ma-monkey.

[Clever username]

I bring obscure references of all sorts and a tolerance for stupidity that is almost boundless.  Almost.

You, sir, are a fine addition.