Window seat etiquette on flights

Saw this story pop up on my Twitter feed and thought it would be good grist for the mill here at ole SJ.

The Showdown at the Window Seat

Me? I'm a window seat guy, always have been. When I was young it was for the view. As an adult? It's less for the view than for not having someone on both sides of me and having something (uncomfortable though it is) to lean on. Window seat equals isolation to the degree you can have it, a valuable commodity in an otherwise soul-crushing experience.

I mostly go shade down, but it's a case-by-case thing. Do I want to sleep? What time of day is the flight? What side of the plane is the sun at and what's the sun's angle? What's the temperature inside or outside the plane and how does it influence my own comfort?

However, I do like to look out the window sometimes, especially on takeoff and landing. I'm a map DORK so if bored I will look down at the landscape and try to determine where we are - without cheating on the in-plane display - by looking at the interstates, rail, etc. I'll look at a town, see where a current or former rail line went, and follow it.

Why? I like simple pleasures. Like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy. Call me crazy, call me a pervert.

As far as opening the shade based on others around me? That also depends. Were you, or have you have been, cool and nice and have acted like a normal, courteous human being? Then my inclination is to be a pal and try to be considerate of others by taking into account that they might be watching a movie or trying to get some shut-eye.

On the other hand? Have you been obnoxious? Or an entitled dick who thinks the world revolves around whether you can watch a repeat of Masked Singer? Or, have you broken the many unspoken rules of air flight behavior? Are you a slob? Did you take your shoes off? Did you bring hummus on the fucking plane? Are you letting your kids run rampant? Are you talking loudly to your friends? Are you already drunk, and thus, making my life miserable in the bargain? In that case, the shade is going to rise or fall based on whatever you don't want. If the behavior reaches critical mass, I will even sacrifice my own desire to raise or lower the shade to do one or the other to fuck your shit up.

And at the end of the day? Anyone not sitting in a window seat can fuck off anyway. It's my seat. If you want control of the shade? Get your own window seat. Flights have become Lord Of The Flies anyway, so I will chuck a rock at your head in my own little way.

What sayeth you, SJ.com?

 

No loud farting, please.

 

Haha. Not every day someone quotes a child porn aficionado from Boogie Nights.

I like the window seat because it inconveniences more people when I have to piss or get up and walk around because I always get restless leg syndrome on flights. JK. I like it because you can lean against the fuselage to sleep and you won't get hammered by the drink cart or some yutz walking down the aisle trying to shake off his restless leg syndrome.

 

Let's get it right. The Colonel was the child porn guy. Floyd Gondolli was the money man.

 

I usually do aisle seat (very broad shouldered and like to stretch my leg out) but when I do the window seat, always shade down.

Mrs. W and I always sit across the aisle from each other when we fly together.

 

Aisle seat is best.
Window is second option.
If window, then shade down.

 

You have to be crazy to want the window seat. Never again. Aisle for life.

 

Aisle seats serve one purpose and one purpose only ... to (theoretically) de-plane quicker for a connecting flight. Apart from that, what’s the advantage?

Smart window seaters know how to stow their overhead shit in an advantageous way, as in, a row or two in front of their actual seat, so there’s no advantage there.

You have what amounts to an invisible force field on one side you cannot break. It’s more severe than the offsides rule in soccer and flight attendants will cut your fucking head off if you break the plane of the goal line. Not so in the window seat.

And the middle seat passengers can and do crowd you in an aisle seat just as much as they do window seaters ... and there’s nowhere to go when they do.

Aisle seats are for sucks.

 

What it’s only two seats? I’d rather have the aisle for the leg room but I need it. Plus ya can get up whenever ya damn please without bothering anyone. Also if the plane lands in the Hudson, your ass is down the aisle and out before all the window bitches behind you.

 

Thank you. You control your movement at all times, especially to use the bathroom, or just to stand and stretch for 30 seconds.

Only a (insert pejorative here) thinks there is any kind of smarts or serenity sitting by the window.

And you're just going to fucking bug me when you ask me to excuse you to use the bathroom.

 

Always the aisle.

The only time you want the window is an overseas redeye when you're trying to sleep. Then you have the bulkhead to lean against.

 

How can you not control your movement in a window seat? You simply say “excuse me” and get up.

Another advantage. You don’t get bothered by people in window seats who have to use the bathroom. You can BE the window seat person controlling the dynamic.

And how is the leg room any different at all by window or aisle? You can’t stretch into the aisle.

The best of both worlds, obviously, are the Embraers where you’re window and aisle seat at the same time.