Parenting and education

Hello, all.

My oldest son is in kindergarten, and we recently received his first standardized test scores in the mail. He was in the 99th percentile. We knew he was pretty bright - we push him pretty hard, in good ways.

So that was a pretty euphoric little moment for us, one of those little steps along the way where you realize that all this hard work you put in as a parent occasionally pays off.

I know there are a lot of veteran parents on here, and I know some of you have raised some really successful students. What next? I believe in public education, and don't really want to pay for a private education, but I sometimes worry about the influence of some of the other kids he has to be around who aren't as serious about learning. I also worry about him having to be slowed down by their pace, considering there are 26 kids in his class.

I told my wife yesterday that it frustrates me that I feel like I have to work 50-60 hours at my job, and then come home and do the teacher's job, too.

And so it's clear, my children's success isn't an ego trip for me. I honestly don't care if anybody in the world knows how they are doing. I just feel obligated to put them in the best position to succeed that I can, and I think we all know what a tough, competitive world it is out there.

How have some of you managed your children's academic development? Like I said, this is just the beginning for us.

EDIT: Oh, and I should note that we didn't tell him about his scores. I think that's the right decision, although he's so driven by things like that, such as his reading level on their "RAZ-Kids" app that they use, that there would probably be some benefit to it. But decided not to.

 

DietCoke,

Some thoughts:

I am all for public education. If your system has magnet schools or such, I would look for that.

When you are helping your kid at home, you are not doing the teachers's job, you are doing the parents' job.

Just remember, when you are in the 99th percentile, your kid will be competing with other kids in the 99th percentile for scholarships, Ivy League admission, internships, awards, etc. That's when you see how many really smart and talented kids are out there.

Encourage your son in directions that interest him -- music, sports, debate club, whatever. And maybe push a little. Some kids want to be pushed to get started. The busier they are (within reason) in middle and high school, the better.

I strongly suggest music. If your kid is in the band, he will be surrounded by smart, talented kids in public or private school.

Good luck.

 

You may get some, "Your child seems bored." comments from teachers, because for the most part, teachers cater to the kids who are struggling and the kids who do better academically are often taken for granted.

As soon as my oldest started enrichment, his interest in school went from about a 2 to a 9. He was bored, frustrated and lashed out a few times when the teacher continued to take things at a very slow pace. My youngest is dealing with the same issues and where we live it doesn't start until second grade, but the teacher has given us stuff to have him do to keep him from being bored in class.

 

I'd honestly be more concerned about his social skills and interactions with peers. The academic stuff will take care of itself. He'll gravitate naturally toward what he loves.

But is he empathetic? How is he at playing? How does he do in groups? If a friend hurts himself on the playground, does he notice? Check in on the friend? Engage in joint attention-- i.e. notify a grown-up that the friend is hurt?

One of my neighbors is so smart, he built a computer the other day... built... hardware, software, everything...

But the guy can't look you in the eye and can't hold down a job.

 

Diet,

We're in a very similar situation. Our daughter, our oldest, is far ahead of her peers. The school system we recently left was pretty good, and now that we've relocated, the situation is not so good. She went from reading three books a week to reading the same passage three or four times a week. The teacher in the previous district still emails my wife with advanced lesson plans, gives my wife tips, etc. We've recently gotten her into music. We took her to the local music story and had her tested by a couple of music teachers (I guess "tested" is the best term). She liked and the teachers pointed her toward the violin. It seems to have worked. It keeps her busier and definitely challenges her by pushing her harder while doing homework. You should give it a try.

 

Do you know what a lexile is?

 

I was a 99th percentile type kid, and I very much second what Lugnuts said. Don't worry about the academic side. That works itself out with the genuinely talented and driven kids over time. If he has a hobby he likes - mine was music - try and figure out how to include that in his routine. But he's in kindergarten. Don't worry so much about being slowed down academically at this point.

The one thing my parents always did was make sure I was in a reasonably good school. Not all of them were award winners, but they all had good gifted-talented programs with actually stringent entrance requirements. I think I got pulled out once a week starting in 4th grade? Before that, social skill development and learning to work with a group was more important than academic stratification.

Where I always struggled and wished I had more help was on that social front. I've figured things out to a certain extent now, and I had underlying reasons why I was the most awkward child to ever be awkward, but concentrating on him being socially adept and happy with his peer relationships is going to get you a lot further than pure academic brilliance these days. And kindergarten is way too early to tell that anyway. Let him be a kid while he's that age. It'll be all about grades and Pre-AP and extracurriculars and whatnot way too soon anyway.

 

I've never heard of standardized Kindergarten tests? Is this from the school or the state?

 

I was in the 99th percentile of paste eating at that age, but I don't like to brag.

 

I'm told I scored very high in eating my own snot.

 

Read to him. Find different and varied and cool books, not just the latest "Thomas the Tank Engine".